Shifting Gears: “Am I With the Right Person?” Advice for Successful Relationships

relationships Shifting Gears Circa Deum Unforgivable sin

Have you or someone you know ever said “Am I with the right person?” Relationships, like many things in life, naturally go through a cyclical process. First, you generally “fall in love.”

You just can’t wait for the other person’s phone calls and texts, feel euphoria and exhilaration with the slightest touch, and actually enjoy all of their annoying little quirks. Falling in love isn’t difficult, it’s actually pretty easy. That’s why it’s called falling. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria you feel begins to fade.

Those formerly adorable little quirks slowly start to wear down your patience, phone calls and texts seem more and more bothersome, and you just can’t help but notice everything your spouse does to intentionally annoy you. And this is the stage where people starting asking “Am I with the right person? I’m not sure I’m in love with this one anymore.”

Many people take this discontent and blame it squarely on their partner — and then turn to sources outside their marriage for the fulfillment they seek.

Infidelity. Drugs. Work. Leisure. All of these things are attempts by people to fill this perceived emptiness. And let me tell you the truth, you could “fall in love” with someone else. You definitely could. And TEMPORARILY you might feel better. But you’d be in the same situation or worse a few years later.

Because …

The key to having a successful marriage is not in finding the right person; it’s in understanding what love really is and then loving the person you already found.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. – 1 John 3:16

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… – Ephesians 5:25

Making relationships work is not something that just happens. You have to work on it every single day. It takes time, effort, and energy! And most importantly, it demands a great deal of wisdom and humility. You have to know how to make it work. And make no mistake about it. The God of the universe poured himself out to nothing and laid down his life in humiliation for us. He did what it took to make it work. If we want to succeed in our relationships, we must be willing to do the same.

Love is a decision you make — a decision worth making.




About Patrick Stephens 162 Articles

Patrick is the founder and lead editor of the publication. Currently a pastor of many years by trade, Patrick served in the US Army and did his graduate work at both Miami University in Oxford, OH (Social Sciences) and the University of Dayton (Theology) — earning an advanced degree. He enjoys bringing a larger historical and philosophical perspective to his projects. Also, he likes comic books.

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